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Joe Blevins 
"Don't I look handsome?"
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 Posted - 01/11/2009 : 20:45:44
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I don't know what it is. Maybe the social contract is breaking down. Maybe we need to have a nationwide seminar. Maybe there should be public service announcements or pamphlets sent in the mail.
The problem is simple: People do not know how to attend movies. They don't get it. They don't know how it works. You'd think that after a century of moviegoing, we as a human race would have this "going to the movies" thing down pat. But we don't. We really, really don't.
We arrive after the movie has started. We get up and walk around while the film is playing. We not only bring our phones with us into the theater (ringtone set at full blast), we make and receive calls during the running time of the motion picture that we (and others) have paid to see. We ask each other what is going on, plotwise. We point out items of interest to one another, like when a scene makes reference to an earlier scene or when we spot an actor we recognize from some other context.
And, above all, we talk. Talk and talk and talk. Our conversations begin during the coming attractions and continue right through the end credits. We have somehow gotten the impression that moviegoing is a social experience. Therefore it is weird and wrong to go to the movies alone. It is something done in groups. Of course, you have to bring at least one other person with you into the theater. After all, who would you talk to otherwise? You can't hold an entire movie-length conversation by yourself, now can you? Of course not! So when it's time to see a motion picture, gather up as many friends and relatives as you can find and bring them with you into the auditorium! If you're alone, what is there to do in a theater? Watch the movie? Who wants to do that?
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!
It's gotten so bad that "being polite" in a theater now only means that you don't talk when the characters onscreen are actually talking. Apparently, there's some kind of unwritten rule that when the audio consists of only music and/or sound effects, it's okay to talk. And conversations in a foreign language do not count! If the characters onscreen are not actually speaking English, you are under no obligation to be quiet.
How did we get this point? Did we ever know how to attend movies? Did we forget or did we never know? The problem, I can assure you, is pandemic. Recently, I have had two moviegoing experiences marred by awful audience behavior. In the first, the audience members were largely teenagers. In the second, they were middle aged and older. NO AGE BRACKET KNOWS HOW TO ATTEND MOVIES! Nobody gets it. Young people talk. Old people talk. They all talk.
I am at my wit's end. And fortunately I am also at the end of this rant. Thank you for reading. And, seriously, don't talk at the movies. |
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lemmycaution 
"Long mired in film"
Canada
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Posted - 01/11/2009 : 22:04:21
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Good that you got that off your chest, Joe. Of course, on this site, you are preaching to the converted.
Even as a kid on Saturday afternoon in a theatre full of kids we were holy terrors until the projector started. Then we settled down.
Any wonder home theatre is so prevalent?
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BaftaBaby
"Always entranced by cinema."
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Posted - 01/11/2009 : 22:13:26
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Apparently the exact same problem existed during performances of Shakespeare's plays at the Globe. And, they talked back to the actors, too! And, bought oranges ... sort of like buying hot dogs at a ball game.
People! I dunno! We'd be better off with robots.
[Just messin' with you, Joe. In my more violent and much, much younger days I did actually hit someone in the seat behind me, just because she wouldn't shut up. Even though I'd ask her really nicely.]
Mind you, for the most part UK cine-goers are comparativeley well behaved, at least out here in the suburbs.
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benj clews 
"...."
United Kingdom
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Posted - 01/11/2009 : 22:34:55
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Hear hear! This, for my money, is what's killing off cinema. People just think they can do everything they do when they're at home sat in front of the TV.
What I find most amazing is the rising cost of going to the cinema doesn't in any way seem to keep these people out. The average ticket price in central London is $20-25 and yet these oiks still pay all this money to almost completely ignore the film.
Cinemas have got it all wrong- they shouldn't put up ticket and food prices and lay off staff, they should employ more staff to keep the talkers at bay. Also, invest in cell phone blockers/ signal blocking walls, rather than more ruddy 3D projectors- the gimmicks will only pull them in for so long.
The worst effect of all this though, is that it's driving the real film lovers away from somewhere they would happily compensate the filmmakers and towards piracy. As an example of what I mean, there's a guy at my work, 10 years younger and of a generation that's never experienced a true, immersive cinema experience, simply because of all the disruptions in the auditorium. He justifies pirating all the latest releases because he says he can't enjoy a film at the cinema.
As much as I try to condone him downloading everything, I really can't argue against this point  |
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Chris C 
"Four words, never backwards."
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Posted - 01/11/2009 : 23:11:02
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| Nice rant, Joe. I'm with you 100% on this. |
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Larry 
"Larry's time / sat merrily"
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Posted - 01/11/2009 : 23:57:12
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| Here's what's happening in Orlando cinemas -- pairs of friends going to see a film, only one of whom speaks English, so the friend translates throughout the film. Try concentrating on the film while that's going on. |
Edited by - Larry on 01/11/2009 23:57:40 |
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
New Zealand
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Posted - 01/11/2009 : 23:58:16
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I watch about 250 movies per year, but have been to the cinema only once this year, and from memory only once last year, and both times I was reminded why I watch movies at home.
I think the main reason most people have for paying 15 times as much as they need to for a movie (cinema vs. home) IS for the social experience. That kills it for those few residual movie watchers who want to actually watch the movie. |
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ChocolateLady 
"500 Chocolate Delights"
Israel
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Posted - 02/11/2009 : 07:05:47
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Sounds like I'm the lucky one - for the most part. It is now manditory to remind people to turn their cell phones off here (and considering that Israel has one of the highest numbers of cell phones per capita, that's asking a whole lot). What's more, they actually do it - most of the time! It is very rare that you hear a phone ring in a movie theatre, and when it does, the audience gets angry and I've never heard anyone actually answer.
Talking, on the other hand, isn't quite as under control. It does depend on the crowd, however - as well as the venue. There's one theatre we like to go to that the viewers are VERY well behaved. They do show a more artistic collection of films (as opposed to block-busters and mindless junk), however, so it could be partially due to that. Even so, in the many times I've seen movies in the big cineplex places, unless the crowd is really young, they seem mostly well behaved.
Which, considering the Israeli mentality and general personality, is actually pretty suprizing!
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Edited by - ChocolateLady on 02/11/2009 07:06:40 |
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silly
"That rabbit's DYNAMITE."
United States
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Posted - 02/11/2009 : 15:28:30
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I, too, watch more and more at home.
Sometimes when I'm out, the audience surprises me. I went to the midnite show (opening night) of Where the Wild Things Are. I had to sit down an hour early to assure a seat, and there were tons of people in costumes running around taking pictures of each other on their cell phones. The guy next to me was checking his messages on his phone and grumbling loudly about something political. Most of the audience appeared to be college kids, and they acted like they hadn't seen each other in months, when in reality they probably ate lunch with their friends that very day.
But the moment the lights went down, for the previews, everyone shut up and sat down and we enjoyed the movie together.
And when it finished, some of us howled.
Since then I've watched a dozen movies on my couch and been just as happy  |
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MguyX
"X marks the spot"
United States
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Posted - 02/11/2009 : 19:36:42
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Aw hell naw: I love's me some "critical filmic co-discussion," as it's called in the hood.
How you suppost to know if you didn't miss something if somebody don't tell you? I might not'a seent hat dude from 21 Jump Street walking around like a pirate, so somebody got's to point that out to me! I might'a thought a broken bone bustin' thoo a twisted arm was fake unless the girl behind me didn't say "Ooo: that look'ded real!"
And, uh, Hello!-excuse me, but ain't no greater feeling of love and concern from yo fellow man than knowin they will warn you if a big fuckin psychopath standin by the door or hiding in the dark. If you ain't yellin' "DON'T GO IN THERE GIRL: HE GONNA KILL YOU!" or "DON'T GO DOWN THEM STAIRS!! UHN-UHN! NO! NO! HE GOT A CHAINSAW!!!" then I know I better not go camping up at the lake with yo selfish ass (or try to hide a body we just ran over ... unless I check and see he really dead for myself).
And why do my cousin got to buy a paper -- or run up his internet bill -- looking for first-hand reviews when I can tell him e-rythang about the movie while it's going so I ca be sure not to miss anythang (and I ca talk to him about Ray-Ray and Pete during the boring parts)?
This just another example of people refusing to evolve with the times and the technology. How many of y'all still gots rotary phones in yo house? I know you got one Joe! Hell, I had to stop benj and Lisa from running around L.A. with they two cans and a long-ass string! And what's all this "we" shit? I don't talk no French!
Y'all needs to get wit the times! If I'm having a emotional crisis when Paul Blart get all ... dissed ... by ... that muthafuckah with the pens ... I need to call my therapist[/cousin] an talk about that shit! In fact, I'm kinda pissed that there ain't a cell tower in e'ry theatre (Oooo, look: I did that in British! That's cuz a some shit this one girl tolt me during one them James Bond movies, cuz I was sayin that the set director couldn't spell, and she was like "Nuh-uhn!" and she was spellin things like "centre" and "metre" and "dangre", and I was all like "Whaaaa?" That shit was was enlightening.)
Whatever. I ain't signt no "social contract," and if I did, good luck gettin the money outta my broke ass. Maybe y'all need to start bringin yo phones, yo babies, yo Spanish-speakin aunts and uncles, yo dogs, yo cats and yo got-damn alarm clocks to the movies with you: eventually, one of us is going to get the picture.  |
Edited by - MguyX on 03/11/2009 02:56:25 |
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AC
"Returning FWFR Old-Timer"
Canada
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Posted - 02/11/2009 : 20:13:28
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| I love you MGX. |
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lemmycaution
"Long mired in film"
Canada
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Posted - 02/11/2009 : 20:50:13
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Great stuff MguyX. Why should we let a bunch of tight-assed effete cinemah snobs ruin our night?
My favourite story concerning loudmouths at the movies goes back many years ago. it was a French film and a character named Fran�ois figured in the plot and consequently his name appeared often in the subtitles.
There was a non-French speaking couple behind us who were chattering throughout, no doubt thrown by the fact that Doris Day was not in the film.
Towards the end, when it was becoming obvious that Fran�ois was the plot's perp, the fellow behind me exclaimed to his lady friend "I bet Frankois did it!". It was worth the price of admission. |
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duh
"catpurrs"
See Fourum for details.
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Posted - 02/11/2009 : 23:03:34
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| My memory is failing me. Which fwiffer got into an altercation with other cinema-goers in the theater? MguyX, Salopian, or both? Didn't someone dump their soda on someone? |
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AC
"Returning FWFR Old-Timer"
Canada
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Posted - 02/11/2009 : 23:38:36
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| That's my single favourite MguyX story - and trust me, it gets better when you hear it in person! |
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MguyX
"X marks the spot"
United States
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Posted - 03/11/2009 : 02:12:48
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Guilty.    |
Edited by - MguyX on 03/11/2009 02:57:52 |
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
Israel
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Posted - 03/11/2009 : 13:36:09
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quote:
Originally posted by MguyX
Guilty.
Ahhh... makes me feel warm all over! |
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People don't know how to attend movies.
