| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Conan The Westy |
Posted - 03/13/2009 : 06:41:49
I've enjoyed hearing about the exchange of gifts between the US & UK leaders.
Jon Stewart's take on the encounter.
What are some of the more embarrassing, cringe-worthy gifts you've given or received over the years? |
| 13 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| w22dheartlivie |
Posted - 03/16/2009 : 06:32:38
It may not have been the classiest gift I ever got, but it certainly was the most romantic, at least to me. In February, sometime in the mid-90s, just a few months after my ex and I got together, we had a formidable snowstorm overnight for Valentine's Day. I had gotten the report that we had a snow emergency, which meant I wasn't allowed to drive the miles to the next town where I worked, so I opted to sleep in. When I awoke, I found a pretty little globe shaped vase containing a single red rose, resting on a nest of baby's breath and gel. My ex had gotten up and walked the 18 block round trip to the florist's shop, who wouldn't close for Valentine's Day (!), to get me that vase. I still have it, the rose is dried, as did the relationship, but the sentiment still remains. |
| MguyX |
Posted - 03/16/2009 : 06:03:19
Oh yeah: I once got a jar of "gourmet" salad dressing for Christmas from an anonymous donor. This was an odd one, because the dressing turned out to be tasty. But telling people about it never rang well: "I got a jar of salad dressing for Christmas!" |
| ChocolateLady |
Posted - 03/15/2009 : 12:23:20
Probably the most poorly chosen gift for me was when my family went out to get me a birthday present when I was about 11. Before they went, my father asked me "just tell me, big or small". I assumed he was talking about a bicycle and I didn't want one of those low-riding ones with the long seats, so I said "big". My father seemed a bit surprised at that answer and said that small was more feminine. That confused me and I didn't know what to say to that.
They came home with a package that obviously wasn't a bicycle. Inside was one of those big face mod watches that had a whole bunch of wildly colored bands you could change yourself. Now, I'm barely 5'2" today, and I have always had a very small bone structure, so this was absolutely the WRONG choice for me. So much so that I recall the face of the watch was wider than my wrist. I remember my brother told me he tried to get them to buy a more delicate watch but my father insisted on that one because I had answered "big" to his question. I bet I would have liked the one he described to me.
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| Sean |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 22:05:36
quote:
Originally posted by MguyX
I opened it, and to my chagrin was the image of a small kitten hanging onto a rope (much like this one) over the motto "Hang in there baby!"
She should have given you one like this.  |
| MguyX |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 18:04:39
I'll modify it for posterity.
I want the shirt AND the duck. |
| bife |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 11:58:47
quote:
Originally posted by MguyX
For non-U.S. readers, U.S. high school is generally 9th through 12th grade
Mguyx, anyone but you, I'd put that comment down to them being too American to know how the rest of the world might think. Given that it's you, you're probably just taking the piss! "9th grade" means even less to me than "high school"  
As a student living in halls at university a few friends and I clubbed together to buy a birthday-celebrating friend the most garish, bright yellow, 'middle-aged uncle' shirt we found in a bargain bin, just to see whether he would feel obliged to say how much he liked it.
He not only said he liked it, he wore it out that evening. It was truly hideous.
Fortunately, he saw the funny side
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| BaftaBaby |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 07:21:41
Once upon a time, when children got twenty-five cents allowance - IF THEY WERE LUCKY - I was invited to a birthday party of a little kid I didn't really know very well.
I think we were about 8 or 9.
Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end. The days parents weren't worried if you walked for blocks and blocks that you might be in any danger.
So I was allowed to go by myself to the store and get the kid a present. I can't remember exactly how much money I had, but it can only have been $3 tops.
I do have a year-younger brother, but somehow I had not a clue what to get this kid for his birthday. I went to the candystore, which, like most of them in those days, also sold toys, coloring books, etc.
I picked up and replaced many items. I must have looked either like the most indecisive shopper in history, or a thief.
The candy-store-man asked if I needed help. I described my predicament. He asked the age of the boy. I said 8 or 9 or whatever it was. He went away, rummaged around, and came back holding ... a bright yellow rubber duck. A rubber duck, for fuck's sake. For an 8 or 9 year-old boy.
Somehow I felt this was wrong. But he was an adult. An adult who used to be a little boy. The expression on his face conveyed to me that I'd better buy this fucking duck or fuck off out of his store.
I bought the duck.
Even as I was wrapping it, I knew it was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. But I went to the birthday party and gave the kid the duck.
I was so embarrassed I don't think I ever spoke to the kid again.
This is -- what? -- nearly 60 years later. It still makes me cringe to think about it.
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| BaftaBaby |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 07:09:16
quote:
Originally posted by MguyX
but I did use the poster as a book cover, only I turned the image inside-out so it was not visible to anyone.
You MADE a book cover???!!!
 
PS
My gift tale will be along any time soon.
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| MguyX |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 04:29:01
This is one of my favorites.
When I was in high school, I was heavily involed in student government, which was a total fluke. For non-U.S. readers, U.S. school goes from grade 1 through 12: elementary school = 1st 5 grades, junior high school the next 3, high school is generally 9th through 12th grade, then they send you out into the world to do something, if you can. In most of California, it is 10th through 12th grade.
In 10th grade, this really cute chick who was in student government made an announcement during my "homeroom" session and asked whether anyone wanted to run for 11th grade office. As a joke, I shot up my hand and said "I do!", then she gave me a nomination form. I thought, what the hell, so I filled it out and started campaigning. Much to my surprise, I was elected 11th grade president, having staged a very unconventional campaign that mostly consisted of me being a buffoon and otherwise interrupting school events with some silly gesture or other.
But, once elected, I took the job seriously. We had seven different classes each day (known as "periods", and I will skip the obvious female joke). What I didn't realize when I ran for the office was that there were a lot of students who actually wanted to make an impact on what we were doing as a class of 11th graders. I would get suggestions all of the time on what activities we should sponsor, what statements we should make on political events, and what criticisms we should lodge about various teachers and other programs. It got to be kind of intense (especially given a shitload of other stuff that was going on in my life at the time). I made a very earnest effort to listen and to act ... even though I really started on that path as a joke. (Actually, dear reader, I went on to make some significant contributions to student life, both at my school and elsewhere ... but that's a different story.)
My gift-tale, however, occured in the 11th grade. Seventh period was my "English" class (i.e., grammar, literature). It was the last class of the day. Right in front, and right by the door, sat Karen Goodman, with whom I had also attended juinior high school. Karen and I were acquaintences. During 11th grade, she was an unwelcome, self-appointed presidential advisor. To Karen's credit, she demonstrated an acute care about how 11th grade was going to be conducted; I was still caring about whether I was going to get laid and which party was going on the next Saturday.
I was late to class almost every day (which was, quite by accident, my signature all of the time), but Karen would flag me down immediately, almost every day to tell me her ideas about how the 11th grade administration should be doing things, and what the 11th grade class might benefit from sponsoring. Karen was not one of the "popular kids", but she was an acquaintence from junior high, so I generally listened to what she was saying, although with no grand glee on my part.
Every day this went on.
Finally, I thought, I'm going to shut her down politely, and maybe she'll get the message that I just don't want to be assaulted with her ideas every day! I entered class, a couple minutes late as usual, and I took on a preoccupied, frustrated face. She hailed me down as usual, but I put up a hand and sailed past her to my own desk. I sat there, unmolested the entire hour, thinking "Success!" I was certain that I would no longer have to deal with her constant ideations.
The next day, I arrrived, maybe five minutes late, and she didn't try to catch my attention. "SUCCESS IS MINE!" I thought, and went to my desk. After a few minutes of the lecture, our teacher would often let us congress amongst ourselves for various lesson-related reasons. Karen then came casually to my desk.
"I thought you were having one of those kind of days yesterday, so I got you this."
She handed me a rolled up poster, pristine in its plastic wrapper.
I opened it, and to my chagrin was the image of a small kitten hanging onto a rope (much like this one) over the motto "Hang in there baby!"
I felt both ridiculed and honored. I'm nowhere near a guy who has posters of cute cats on his wall, and I don't think I was giving that vibe out then either. But she went out of her way to get me a present that was, if you see what's happening, both encouraging and supportive.
WHAT THE FUCK COULD I DO? I thanked Karen and gave her a hug. Kindness cannot go unrewarded, even if it is a fucking kitten poster with a fucking 70s platitude.
I never ignored Karen again, but I did use the poster as a book cover, only I turned the image inside-out so it was not visible to anyone. |
| Sean |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 03:48:51
quote:
Originally posted by duh Improper Username
I don't think anyone over the age of 16 should expect a Christmas gift--presents should be for kids. SCROOOOOOOGE!
.......
My theory is that people should just keep the money they would spend on Christmas gifts and either donate it to charity or spend it on themselves. I don't see the point in people being obligated to spend their money on each other for crap they don't really need.
I agree with this (and I've highlighted the bit I liked most  ). The only presents I give at Xmas are to my nephew and niece. Although I did give my sister half a bottle of Krug last Xmas, and guess who got the other half.
I can't ever remember getting or giving an embarassing present, if I ever have I've forgotten about it. If I remember one I'll post it. |
| duh |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 03:37:27
I can't think of any embarassing gifts that I've personally given. I try to avoid gift giving situations as much as possible. I hate the secular aspects of Christmas for that reason--everyone has their paw out for a present. I don't think anyone over the age of 16 should expect a Christmas gift--presents should be for kids. SCROOOOOOOGE!
My dad screwed up pretty bad one Christmas when I was a kid. He gave Mom a coffee pot for Christmas and all hell broke loose. Yep, I love Christmas. ;) After a few decades he finally smartened up and figured out how to get to the jewelry store.
My theory is that people should just keep the money they would spend on Christmas gifts and either donate it to charity or spend it on themselves. I don't see the point in people being obligated to spend their money on each other for crap they don't really need.
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| Conan The Westy |
Posted - 03/14/2009 : 02:25:53
...or the time when I was 15 and I rode my bicycle 80km to visit a mate for a few days. My mum told me to give his mum a present for having me stay but my paper round earnings were getting dangerously low, so I spent 49 cents on a packet of seeds.
It left me just enough for an icypole (popsicle) on the return ride.
(Obviously I'm the only cheapskate on FWFR.) |
| Conan The Westy |
Posted - 03/13/2009 : 08:09:26
I'll start the ball rolling...
I was invited to my friend's sister's 21st birthday party (to keep him out of her hair most likely). I gave her a taped copy of Dan Fogelberg's album "The Innocent Age". To add insult to injury it wasn't even my LP that I'd taped - it belonged to my younger brother.
I also gave her some hankies (at least they were new). |
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