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Montgomery 
"F**k!"
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 Posted - 05/30/2007 : 18:29:35
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From his show last Friday.
New Rule: Jimmy Carter must be shipped off to Guantanamo Bay. Last weekend, former U.S. president and current Al Qaeda operative--Jimmy Carter, launched an unprovoked attack upon democracy itself by telling an Arkansas newspaper that the Bush Administration has been the worst in history. And people were shocked... Arkansas has newspapers?!
But, once again, we were sucked into a phony controversy about who said what and how it hurts George Bush's feelings. Because when you hurt George Bush, you hurt America's feelings; and when you hurt America's feelings, you hurt the troops. And when that happens, Tinker Bell's light goes out and she dies.
Now, as for Carter's assertion, I was up all night on Wikipedia doing an exhaustive study of former presidents. And while other presidents have sucked in their own individual ways, Bush is like a smorgasbord of "suck." He -- he combines the corruption of Warren G. Harding, the war-mongering of James Polk, and the abuse of power of Richard Nixon.
Nixon got in trouble for illegally wiretapping Democratic headquarters. Bush is illegally wiretapping the entire country!
Nixon opened up relations with the Chinese. Bush let them poison your dog.
Herbert Hoover, who was literally named after a machine that sucks--sat on his ass through four years of Depression, but he was an actual engineer. And if someone told him about global warming, he would have understood it before the penguins caught on fire.
Ulysses S. Grant let his cronies loot the republic, but he won his Civil War.
Harding...Harding sucked, but he once said, "I am not fit for this office and never should have been here." So at least he knew he sucked. He never walked offstage like Bush does after one of his embarrassing, language-mangling press conferences--with that smirk on his face like, "Nailed it!" Or maybe that's just the look you get when you have a showdown with the Democrats, and you win. Like he just did with Iraq. You don't get to become the worst president ever without a little help from the other side.
You know, I like Jimmy Carter, but when the -- when the Republican "fake outrage" machine pretended to be so upset at his remarks, Carter did what Democrats do, and backed down. He said his words were careless and misquoted, and the sun was in his eyes, and his hearing aid went out, and he was molested by a clergyman.
Instead of looking them in the eye and saying, "No, I meant what I said because it's true! And speaking as the first citizen of Habitat for Humanity, let me take out my Jimmy Carter toolbox and build you a house where we can meet, and you can blow me."
Just beautiful, baby!
EM :) |
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turrell 
"Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh "
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Posted - 05/30/2007 : 19:48:37
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| As an Arkansan (soon to be - move next week) I am offended. Well not really but it kind shows that Maher is smug and elitist. Its hard for him to hold up Bill Clinton as a great President and then slam Arkansas later - I know he is making with the funny - but its arrogant. |
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MisterBadIdea 
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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Posted - 05/30/2007 : 20:22:40
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| Of course it is, and so what? |
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damalc
"last watched: Sausage Party"
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Posted - 05/30/2007 : 21:43:16
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Maher takes shots at everybody, just like the movie "Borat," though Maher is especially hard on theists. i don't think his style makes him an elitist, but he's damn sure smug.
watch long enough and he's guaranteed to offend everyone. |
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turrell
"Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh "
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Posted - 05/31/2007 : 00:59:19
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Hitler pretty much offended everyone too - that's not a solid argument to give him a pass. Like Dennis Miller (a conservative) he thinks he's a lot smarter than he is and that bothers me - I like a humble genius not an arrogant jackass - just my opinion on why I don't prefer Bill Maher.
I think he's going to struggle when the Dems take control more fully - afterall, 8 years of Bill and Hillary were all Rush Limbaugh needed to pad his nitwit fanbase. Maher has thrived being the complete antithesis to 6 years of GOP dominance.
I prefer Letterman who takes potshots at all people without truly taking a side. He seems to have similar admiration for Obama and Giuliani for instance, but will poke fun at them as soon as he gets a chance. |
Edited by - turrell on 05/31/2007 01:02:38 |
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 05/31/2007 : 07:20:34
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| Jon Stewart! |
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turrell
"Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh "
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Posted - 05/31/2007 : 07:26:16
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
Jon Stewart!
Agreed - an equal opportunity offender who is not so offensive. |
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duh 
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 05/31/2007 : 14:45:05
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
Jon Stewart!
Agreed!
From what I've seen of Stephen Colbert, he also appears to be a legitimate equal opportunity offender. |
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Montgomery
"F**k!"
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Posted - 05/31/2007 : 15:58:10
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quote:
Originally posted by duh
quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
Jon Stewart!
Agreed!
From what I've seen of Stephen Colbert, he also appears to be a legitimate equal opportunity offender.
I love Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart as well. And Letterman, too.
Limbaugh? Nope. Can't say I like him that much at all.
EM :) |
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Montgomery
"F**k!"
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Posted - 05/31/2007 : 16:01:53
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I forgot. I love Keith Olbermann, too.
He's great.
EM :) |
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turrell
"Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh "
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Posted - 05/31/2007 : 16:47:26
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| Olbermann is good. |
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Conan The Westy
"Father, Faithful Friend, Fwiffer"
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randall 
"I like to watch."
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Posted - 06/01/2007 : 00:47:46
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I've only watched THE O'REILLY FACTOR once, the night Stephen Colbert came on.
But after having watched THE COLBERT REPORT for about a year before that, I couldn't stop laughing...AT O'REILLY! Where Colbert's "Word" talks back to him, O'Reilly fricking READS the "Talking Point" to his listen- sorry, viewers. I had no idea what Colbert was parodying. Now I do. |
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Conan The Westy
"Father, Faithful Friend, Fwiffer"
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Posted - 06/01/2007 : 12:54:03
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The Chaser gets stuck into Fox News at the 5 minute mark of this clip. O'Reilly gets a serve at about 7 minutes in.
This link Chaser War on Fox News goes to another clip. |
Edited by - Conan The Westy on 06/05/2007 10:32:47 |
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Conan The Westy
"Father, Faithful Friend, Fwiffer"
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Posted - 06/05/2007 : 10:27:51
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Did anyone check out my Chaser links>
Did anyone like them if I did?
(Conan is searching for approval in a harsh universe.) |
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BaftaBaby
"Always entranced by cinema."
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Posted - 06/05/2007 : 10:48:50
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quote:
Originally posted by Conan The Reporter
Did anyone check out my Chaser links>
Did anyone like them if I did?
(Conan is searching for approval in a harsh universe.)
Yup
Yup
You're approved! 
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I REALLY LOVE BILL MAHER!
