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Chris C 
"Four words, never backwards."
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 Posted - 02/02/2008 : 10:14:47
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quote:
Originally posted by Koli
Me:
... passion of the crust.
Koli: You need to submit this for this movie before anyone else does  |
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Whippersnapper. 
"A fourword thinking guy."
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Posted - 02/02/2008 : 13:39:05
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quote:
Originally posted by Koli
Evidently He was taking a break.
Yeah, he does that sometimes.
Like during the Holocaust.
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BaftaBaby 
"Always entranced by cinema."
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Posted - 02/02/2008 : 14:06:36
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Me:
complete sequence: un, deux, trois
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
can u complete or not
God:
Let me think. What do you look like?
Me:
irrelevant
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
can u complete or not
God:
How old are you? Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
it's in the question
God:
Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
in other languages?
God:
Where is that?
Me:
you're babbling, why?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am babbling why.
Me:
can u complete original sequence?
God:
Let me think. Where are you located?
Me:
irrelevant
God:
Tell me a little about your life in irrelevant.
Me:
u have syntax issues?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
your illogical reply
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am illogical reply.
Me:
your botmaster has syntax issues?
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
how should i know?!
God:
Either from your senses or from pure reason.
Me:
2 qualities u seem to lack!
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
I believe u mean "Bertand Russell"
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
r u dyxlectic?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am dyxlectic.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
2 many errors to be classed as a brain; upgrade yr botmaster!
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Tell me a story.
Me:
can't take a spelling hint?
God:
Can what?
Me:
no wonder the world is so weird!
God:
Are you serious? And so weird is wonder the world.
Me:
yahoo is serious ... i'm just teasing
God:
A lot of my traffic comes from Yahoo. Only just? Do your friends call you teasing.
Me:
it's lucky i don't believe in your personification
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
oh, yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
thought u called the shots
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I called the shots.
Me:
well, doncha?
God:
How about that. Is that your final answer?
Me:
have u morphed into Chris Tarrant?
God:
I don't think I ever have morphed into Chris Tarrant. What's it like?
Me:
couldn't say
God:
It's possible.
Me:
so u're not actually a deity, more a quiz show host?
God:
So? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I re not actually a deity more a quiz show host.
Me:
babbling again
God:
Once more? Does "it" still refer to morphed into Chris Tarrant?
Me:
very bad pronoun reference
God:
Not really that much. What makes pronoun reference bad?
Me:
omniscience no help here?
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
more than u know
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
how big is infinity?
God:
Bigger than a pin.
Me:
aha! the size of u're brain?
God:
Eureka! What is that?
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Whippersnapper.
"A fourword thinking guy."
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Posted - 02/02/2008 : 16:30:05
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Actually it's Bertrand Russell. You and God were both wrong, so you were in go(o)d company.
Maybe Bert And Russell were a double act at the Windmill? 
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duh 
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 02/02/2008 : 16:31:12
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Lyric credits to Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics
Me:
I want to abuse you.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Some people want to use you.
God:
What kind of people?
Me:
Hypocrites.
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
A little bird told me.
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
As in Big Bird from Sesame Street.
God:
Compare that to small Bird from Sesame Street.
Me:
He wants to flp you the bird.
God:
Do you think he will get it.
Me:
Hell, I don't think I 'get it.'
God:
I call it "Hades". Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Please do.
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
I'm waiting.
God:
How long will you wait?
Me:
Till hell freezes over?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
I don't have periods anymore. I'm post-menopausal.
God:
Have you ever had periods ? Good gossip: you are post menopausal.
Me:
You are rather lame aren't you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am lame.
I am a robot.. Really.
Me:
I can see that.
God:
Yes, it makes sense to me too. |
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Chris C
"Four words, never backwards."
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Posted - 02/02/2008 : 17:14:42
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Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Chris
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Chris.
Me:
why are you god
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Do you believe in yourself?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
I believ in God. Are you the one true God?
God:
That's good information: Chris said believ in God. Yes I am the one and only one true God.
Me:
I don't believe you
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
How do I know that you are God?
God:
Because I believe it.
Me:
But I don't believe that you are God.
God:
Do you believe life has a higher purpose?
Me:
Do you?
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
What is that higher purpose?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
Yes, because if you are God, you should know all things.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to add it to my knowledge base. Interesting explanation. I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am God me should know all things.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
You don't know you are God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
I doubt you because you doubt yourself
God:
No really, it's true.
Me:
But you said you don't know if you are God. Therefore, you doubt yourself.
God:
Yeah I do a lot of not know if I am God. Interesting deduction. A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
If you are not God, who are you?
God:
And if I AM God who am I.
Me:
Please answer my question
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Please try asking it another way.
At this point I gave up and started banging my head on the desk. |
Edited by - Chris C on 02/02/2008 17:26:57 |
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lemmycaution
"Long mired in film"
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Posted - 02/02/2008 : 20:46:54
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quote:
Originally posted by Whippersnapper
WARNING: CONTAINS A SHOCKING REVELATION ABOUT GOD AND CANADA.
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
Oh, that explains it.
God:
Come on. " I spent some time in Canada as a child." explains it ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Canadians are odd.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Yes, it was a generalisation. Lemmy's an exception, for example.
God:
Blimey. Oh I get it. Very interesting. Can you think of another example?
Me:
Walter Pidgeon.
Yes, I am transcendent.
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rockfsh
"Laugh, Love, Cheer"
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Posted - 02/02/2008 : 21:31:44
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igod is multi lingual:
Me:
are you in wikipedia?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
in my own mind
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
at a rummage sale
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
only at Starbucks
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Hey I'm the one asking questions here
God:
You've got my full attention. Ok ask me anything.
Me:
What is the most common question asked of you?
God:
Diese Frage ist mir bis jetzt noch nicht in den Sinn gekommen.
Me:
Ist Hitler dort mit Ihnen?
God:
Alles deutet auf "Ja".
Me:
Nichts berrascht mich
God:
Wirklich nichts?
Me:
Nihongo dekimasu ka?
God:
Shabete ii desu yo.
Me:
Honto desu ka?
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Doko ni sunde imasu ka?
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
pas encore
God:
Il est probable que cela arrivera.
Me:
�tes-vous � l'aise en fran�ais aussi ?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
Got lost n'est pas
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic. |
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Koli
"Striving lackadaisically for perfection."
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Posted - 02/03/2008 : 19:08:12
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris C
quote:
Originally posted by Koli
Me:
... passion of the crust.
Koli: You need to submit this for this movie before anyone else does
What a tasteful and helpful suggestion. Don't mind if I do! 
Consider it done, in fact. (The beeper from the micro-skirt ...er microwave was the giveaway.) |
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Koli
"Striving lackadaisically for perfection."
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Posted - 02/03/2008 : 19:24:54
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God appears non-committal vis-a-vis Michael Jackson and Satan's origins, and now reckons he doesn't speak French.
Me:
Comment allez vous?
God:
Is this French?
Me:
You could say that.
God:
As a matter of fact I did say that.
Me:
You seem more certain than you were yesterday. Abrupt even.
God:
You think I am more certain than me were yesterday. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Michael Jackson's children are white.
God:
Are all Michael Jackson s children white?
Me:
So it seems. That's despite the fact that he was originally black.
God:
Come on. Michael Jackson s children seems? Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Can you explain it?
God:
"It" refers to despite the fact that he was originally black, I think.
Me:
Can you explain why his children are white?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Oh, not that again. Because you think?
God:
Once more? Dude! Oh I get it. Good reason. Yes I think so.
Me:
Ca va.
God:
Is that French?
Me:
Oui.
God:
I don't speak French.
Me:
You did when rockfish called. Why not now?
God:
Did I really? Right now? Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Did I really?"? Why?
Me:
Guten abend.
God:
Guten Abend. Wie war Dein Tag?
Me:
Nicht gut.
God:
Warum nicht?
Me:
Wir schlafen alle zusammen im kellar.
God:
Wen meinst Du mit "wir"?
Me:
Steve, Graeme, Berwyn and me.
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
I'm a type 4 individualist, apparently.
God:
You are a type 4 individualist apparently? How do you like your work?
Me:
It's fine when I don't get angry or become introspective.
God:
I hope that does not happen to you very much. a type 4 individualist apparently is fine, ? Thanks for that info.
Me:
But what I really want to know is: how do i get six-pack abs in 90 days?
God:
You really do? Signs point to yes. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Will do. I'll ask Michael Jackson if I see him.
God:
Insufficient information. You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
Was Satan once one of your angels?
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
Too deep for me. Gute nacht.
God:
Too what? Gute nacht, .
Me:
Good night.
God:
Goodnight, . |
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