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Ali 
"Those aren't pillows."
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 Posted - 03/22/2007 : 10:44:21
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I was watching the third Highlander flick at a German cinema in the summer of 1995 when two kids a few rows ahead started getting more and more noisy. This guy who was sitting in front of them started getting agitated, and, eventually, he got up (he was MASSIVE), and punched both of them on the face. The kids left, only to return twenty minutes later with a policeman in tow. All of which was much more enjoyable than the crap on screen.
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 03/22/2007 : 12:00:58
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All of this is why I tend to stick to DVDs these days.  |
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ChocolateLady 
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 03/22/2007 : 12:15:42
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quote:
Originally posted by Se�n
All of this is why I tend to stick to DVDs these days.
All well and good, but you can't get a good cholesterol high from microwave popcorn!
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Montgomery
"F**k!"
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Posted - 03/22/2007 : 15:12:51
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quote:
Originally posted by benj clews
Well, this is going a little off topic, but sod it...
People who use their phones in cinemas.
People who acknowledge you shushingan them for using their phone... and carry on anyway.
People who talk to their mates beside them in cinemas.
People who talk quietly in cinemas (you can still hear their lips smacking together on 'p's and 't's).
People who sit behind you in the cinema and can't keep their feet still.
People who sit in front of you in the cinema and keep wobbling tbeir heads.
People who sit beside you in the cinema and use all the arm rest.
People who sit beside you in the cinema with their legs akimbo.
People who whoop at the film certificate.
People who applaud after a film, as though the cast are out back going "Well, I'm glad they enjoyed it!".
And finally... people who sit bang in the middle on the front row. Don't these people know this is MY seat?
NOTE: This has been a "things that irritate me" special on 'the cinema'. Other titles in this range include 'the train', 'the dinner table', 'the office', 'the outside world' and the ever popular 'the guy I sit next to at work'.
You forgot:
People who bring their young child (or baby) to the theatre, because they want to see a movie and don't want to pay for a sitter.
Or people who bring their kids to movies that are highly inappropriate for them. And let their kids see sex and violence that they really shouldn't be viewing.
One idiot family brought their young son to Sin City. A little into it, the kid ran from the theatre and I could hear him crying to his Mom, "I don't want to go back in there." I felt so bad for him. It was like the scene in Pinnochio, which I cannot take, where the boy has been turned into a donkey and they're checking if he can still talk and he cries, "I want my Mommy!" 
EM :) |
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lemmycaution 
"Long mired in film"
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Posted - 03/22/2007 : 15:28:44
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quote:
Originally posted by Salopian
I went to the cinema on Tuesday night, to see the unbelievably bad (really - as well as everyone dubbing themselves, it featured Junior Simpson as a Sikh!) Don't Stop Dreaming and the quite good Hat Trick. At the start of the latter, a family came past me to sit down, and the teenage girl stood in my nachos - and didn't even apologise! I just stared at her agog. As I had not thought about them and therefore had not moved them, I did not say anything, but I think they should have at least apologised, especially when I left to get replacements (which they didn't know I didn't pay for).
Nacho best night at the movies.  |
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Whippersnapper. 
"A fourword thinking guy."
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Posted - 03/22/2007 : 17:14:41
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Oh, how I would love to stamp on Salopian's nachos! 
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Beanmimo 
"August review site"
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Posted - 03/22/2007 : 17:20:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Whippersnapper
Oh, how I would love to stamp on Salopian's nachos!
no unprovoked badgering of the sheep or i'll set my Liger on ya!! |
Edited by - Beanmimo on 03/22/2007 17:21:06 |
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redPen
"Because I said so!"
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Posted - 03/23/2007 : 07:25:26
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Hi all! Just discovered this string, but boy, could I have commented throughout!
As a proofreader/editor/writer, there are many common errors I encounter daily. I constantly have to control my "smack-the-idiot" reflex. Here's a humorous (?) piece I wrote several years ago on this very topic:
Don�t Let These Happen To You!
(A Slightly Humorous Look At Some Seriously Bad Phrases)
by Thomas M. Pender
The English language is probably the most misused and abused language in the world. We learn to speak like those who teach us to speak. As we get older and learn to write, we generally write as we speak. Along with the English language itself, bad grammar often gets handed down from generation to generation, and such �traditional� mistakes of speech become accepted as correct (or at least not incorrect) simply by virtue of common usage. Here is a small sample of some phrases which may seem perfectly functional, but are actually various bits of nonsense:
Believe you me
This verb-subject-object phrasing sounds like a modern idea of primitive language. If you swear by this phrase, consider broadening it into your everyday speech: �Come you here,� �Get you newspaper,� �Coming soon me home,� and �Do Katie homework� ought to get you started. Note: �Marry you me?� ought to impress any girl! (The correct alternative is simply �Believe me.� �You� is implied when speaking directly to a person or a group.)
Irregardless
�Ir-� means �not.� �-less� means �without.� Therefore, �irregardless� means �not without regard.� When this term is used, it is usually meant as �without regard,� which is simply �regardless.�
I think/I believe
In a biographical story or a term paper, or anything else in which the author�s opinions are stated in the piece, the opinions written are assumed to be those of the author, unless specified otherwise. It is completely unnecessary to tell your audience that you think or believe the opinion which you are writing. Instead of writing (or saying) �I think Canada is a large country,� simply state �Canada is a large country.� All who read or hear this opinion will know it is yours, unless credited to someone else in the piece.
Like nobody�s business
This humorous phrase of praise means absolutely nothing. If reworded, you might say �That boy can sink a hook shot like it is the concern of no person.� Would you consider this a compliment?
Can I ask you a question?
Used primarily in everyday speech, this is one of my personal favorites. Let�s review: You are asking someone for permission to ask a question. Yet, by asking for permission, you have asked a question without permission. If you truly feel that permission is needed, you should go to the trouble of saying: �I would like your permission to ask you a question.� This way, you can avoid the embarrassment of getting caught asking a question without proper authorization!
By and large
Functionally, this phrase means �in general,� but how would you know this by reading it? It is made up of a preposition meaning �near,� a conjunction meaning �plus� or �with,� and an adjective meaning �big.� If someone said to you, �Near with big, I vote Republican,� would you understand him?
�Someone who needs no introduction . . .�
Heard often by masters of ceremony at formal speeches, this phrase is a blatant lie. It is usually placed at the beginning of an elaborate introduction, which demonstrates that the person does need an introduction. Someday, I wish I could hear an emcee go to the podium and say, �And now, ladies and gentlemen, someone who needs no introduction,� and then sit down.
Needless to say . . .
This is the king of all useless phrases, both in speech and in composition. It is usually placed at the beginning of a statement that naturally follows another, such as �I hadn�t been on a blind date in thirteen years. Needless to say, I was very nervous.� If your second statement is really needless to say, don�t add it. If you feel the need to add it, then it is obviously not needless to say.
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 03/23/2007 : 07:55:34
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| Believe you me, that was a funny piece, irregardless of whether others agree. I believe (well at least I think I believe!) that you have entertained me like nobody's business! Can I ask you a question? No? Ok then, I won't. By and large, you're obviously someone who needs no introduction. Needless to say, I won't introduce you then. |
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Shiv 
"What a Wonderful World"
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Posted - 03/23/2007 : 08:04:48
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quote:
Originally posted by redPen
Hi all! Just discovered this string, but boy, could I have commented throughout!
As a proofreader/editor/writer, there are many common errors I encounter daily. I constantly have to control my "smack-the-idiot" reflex. Here's a humorous (?) piece I wrote several years ago on this very topic:
Don�t Let These Happen To You!
(A Slightly Humorous Look At Some Seriously Bad Phrases)
by Thomas M. Pender
The English language is probably the most misused and abused language in the world. We learn to speak like those who teach us to speak. As we get older and learn to write, we generally write as we speak. Along with the English language itself, bad grammar often gets handed down from generation to generation, and such �traditional� mistakes of speech become accepted as correct (or at least not incorrect) simply by virtue of common usage. Here is a small sample of some phrases which may seem perfectly functional, but are actually various bits of nonsense:
Believe you me
This verb-subject-object phrasing sounds like a modern idea of primitive language. If you swear by this phrase, consider broadening it into your everyday speech: �Come you here,� �Get you newspaper,� �Coming soon me home,� and �Do Katie homework� ought to get you started. Note: �Marry you me?� ought to impress any girl! (The correct alternative is simply �Believe me.� �You� is implied when speaking directly to a person or a group.)
Irregardless
�Ir-� means �not.� �-less� means �without.� Therefore, �irregardless� means �not without regard.� When this term is used, it is usually meant as �without regard,� which is simply �regardless.�
I think/I believe
In a biographical story or a term paper, or anything else in which the author�s opinions are stated in the piece, the opinions written are assumed to be those of the author, unless specified otherwise. It is completely unnecessary to tell your audience that you think or believe the opinion which you are writing. Instead of writing (or saying) �I think Canada is a large country,� simply state �Canada is a large country.� All who read or hear this opinion will know it is yours, unless credited to someone else in the piece.
Like nobody�s business
This humorous phrase of praise means absolutely nothing. If reworded, you might say �That boy can sink a hook shot like it is the concern of no person.� Would you consider this a compliment?
Can I ask you a question?
Used primarily in everyday speech, this is one of my personal favorites. Let�s review: You are asking someone for permission to ask a question. Yet, by asking for permission, you have asked a question without permission. If you truly feel that permission is needed, you should go to the trouble of saying: �I would like your permission to ask you a question.� This way, you can avoid the embarrassment of getting caught asking a question without proper authorization!
By and large
Functionally, this phrase means �in general,� but how would you know this by reading it? It is made up of a preposition meaning �near,� a conjunction meaning �plus� or �with,� and an adjective meaning �big.� If someone said to you, �Near with big, I vote Republican,� would you understand him?
�Someone who needs no introduction . . .�
Heard often by masters of ceremony at formal speeches, this phrase is a blatant lie. It is usually placed at the beginning of an elaborate introduction, which demonstrates that the person does need an introduction. Someday, I wish I could hear an emcee go to the podium and say, �And now, ladies and gentlemen, someone who needs no introduction,� and then sit down.
Needless to say . . .
This is the king of all useless phrases, both in speech and in composition. It is usually placed at the beginning of a statement that naturally follows another, such as �I hadn�t been on a blind date in thirteen years. Needless to say, I was very nervous.� If your second statement is really needless to say, don�t add it. If you feel the need to add it, then it is obviously not needless to say.
'
Tide, attempt to turn or swim against and Knut come to mind. You poor thing  |
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benj clews 
"...."
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Posted - 03/23/2007 : 08:46:07
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quote:
Originally posted by redPen
Can I ask you a question?
...
This is one of the many, many, many irritating things that the guy who sits next to me at work does. Every single question, he'll ask this and when I acknowledge him, he'll go "Oh... never mind... I'll ask you later..."
Aaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!! |
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 03/23/2007 : 08:48:37
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What about the I could care less and I couldn't care less problem? These are about the most misused phrases I've ever heard and I doubt people realize what they're saying when they say them.
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 03/23/2007 : 08:50:12
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quote:
Originally posted by benj clews
quote:
Originally posted by redPen
Can I ask you a question?
...
This is one of the many, many, many irritating things that the guy who sits next to me at work does. Every single question, he'll ask this and when I acknowledge him, he'll go "Oh... never mind... I'll ask you later..."
Aaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!
Apparently, his ability to ask a question is impared, and therefore he "can't" ask you a question. Next time he says that to you, tell him "apparently you cannot".
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benj clews
"...."
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Posted - 03/23/2007 : 08:55:06
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
quote:
Originally posted by benj clews
quote:
Originally posted by redPen
Can I ask you a question?
...
This is one of the many, many, many irritating things that the guy who sits next to me at work does. Every single question, he'll ask this and when I acknowledge him, he'll go "Oh... never mind... I'll ask you later..."
Aaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!
Apparently, his ability to ask a question is impared, and therefore he "can't" ask you a question. Next time he says that to you, tell him "apparently you cannot".
Trust me, I've said this and a lot worse but he doesn't take the hint. He's like the ultimate irritation machine, sent back through time to piss everyone off  |
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Sal[Au]pian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 03/23/2007 : 09:32:56
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quote:
Originally posted by Montgomery
Or people who bring their kids to movies that are highly inappropriate for them. And let their kids see sex and violence that they really shouldn't be viewing.
Quite. When I worked at a cinema, a family thought they could take their four-year-old into an 18-rated film! They went into the screen with him, but I made the mum take him into an alternative film. |
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Hanged or hung?
