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Mr Savoir Faire 
"^ Click my name. "
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 Posted - 06/16/2007 : 20:02:29
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The last two months I have been a little inactive from fwfr because I have started performing stand-up comedy. Anyway, if anyone is interested I am posting a youtube video a friend of mine made.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RstKiR_YcOc
I think I remember hearing that there were other comics in the fourms. Advice and critique is greatly appreciated.
Also, a while back I mentioned that I will be on an MTV show "Yo Momma". The time it will air is June 20th at 6:30 pm. |
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MguyX 
"X marks the spot"
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Posted - 06/16/2007 : 20:20:16
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| You were pretty funny, but the white dude who followed was better. |
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MguyX
"X marks the spot"
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Posted - 06/16/2007 : 20:25:51
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I don't think anybody got the Sudan joke. I did; I thought it was funny.
I couldn't hear so well on the rumor joke. I could make out the long feet part. What was the other one?
Better yet, just send me a transcript so I can steal... er ... read it on my own.
Good job Mr. S! It takes a lot of courage to get up on stage, so you get my respect right off the bat. Of course, if you didn't make me laugh ... well, that's why I have the bat. |
Edited by - MguyX on 06/16/2007 20:26:48 |
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Whippersnapper. 
"A fourword thinking guy."
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Posted - 06/16/2007 : 20:34:37
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Seriously, the sound was a problem, particularly for non-Americans I suspect. It would be nice to have a transcript to fully understand your brilliance.
I know you must have been good because they didn't lynch you.
Then again, they didn't lynch the white guy either.
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w22dheartlivie
"Kitty Lover"
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Posted - 06/17/2007 : 06:02:23
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I thought you did great, Eric. Don't rush your jokes, milk them for all they're worth!! I loved the part about DannieLynn and OJ. I'd worry if I were named Nicole too.
I used to do a little stand-up years ago when I was in college. I started when two friends of mine (identical twins) began having lip synch contests for their birthdays, as an in-between act. Mine was mostly about being a fat girl in a world where the ideal woman has thighs that don't touch, even when she crosses her legs. Of course now in the US, the average weight has gone up and the thighs don't even cross. Hang in there, you've got a start on a good act. |
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 06/17/2007 : 06:29:57
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quote:
Originally posted by Whippersnapper
Seriously, the sound was a problem, particularly for non-Americans I suspect. It would be nice to have a transcript to fully understand your brilliance.
I know you must have been good because they didn't lynch you.
Then again, they didn't lynch the white guy either.
True, the sound was a problem. I only got about half of it and I'm originally American so I agree - a transcript would be great.
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BaftaBaby 
"Always entranced by cinema."
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Posted - 06/17/2007 : 09:03:42
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
True, the sound was a problem. I only got about half of it and I'm originally American so I agree - a transcript would be great.
Ditto -- but you've definitely got a nice presentation style, and you have that rare quality of instant stage charm ... money can't buy it, dude!
A couple of pointers, if you'll allow, from a used-to-be:
1. Try to trust that you can stay stiller on stage. You can include people on all sides by focusing on them rather than those little half-forays you do. I'm guessing it's a nervousness thing. If you can bear watching the vid with the sound off and just concentrate on every time you move, you'll see what I mean. [A master of this is someone like Eddie Izzard - and Jackie Mason, come to mention it - who saves the pacing and striding to match the material, so there's more focussed contrast on when he moves and when he doesn't. And, yes, of course, the size of the stage/room matters.
2. Even though it was difficult to hear everything I'd say try to create more flowing links from one shtick to the next. Otherwise there's the impression of a bunch of bits instead of the cohesion of an act. This will also help you feel more confident in what you put next to what, and how it builds to the end. Funnily enough it will also help you remember the act far better and free you up to incorporate anything that may be happening 'live.'
Of course our fearless leader benj also does stand-up and may well have helpful comments that are more concerned with the actual material -- now, dagnabbit, if only he'd get back from his honeymoon. I mean to say - abandoning us like that
But, hey, Mr S ... hat's off to you! This is a terrific start and you have all my admiration and best wishes for it. I know from the teensy [disastrous! ] forays I made into stand-up that it takes more bottle [guts] than jumping the Grand Canyon on a mo-ped! Go gett'em!
Hope this helps 
PS - PLEASE give us some feedback from Yo Momma for those of us who don't do MTV.
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Edited by - BaftaBaby on 06/17/2007 09:04:48 |
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benj clews
"...."
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Posted - 06/17/2007 : 16:04:04
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Unfortunately, I'm not currently in the best position to watch your video, but I look forward to checking it out once I get home and on a decent speed internet connection again
I've done some stand-up on and off for the last couple of years with considerably varying levels of success. My last few gigs garnered almost deathly silence, although with my last I at least seemed to pull it back with adlibs- my only problem there being I'd like to be funny for my material, rather than apologising for how badly the gig is going  Right now though, I'm not sure I have the will to get back into it, especially so as what I was starting to think was schtick and material that worked for me apparently doesn't anymore. I can't imagine there's much more mind-fucking careers than stand-up comedy, so my hat comes off to anyone giving stand-up a serious go.
Given I can't see your act, I'll just throw out the usual advice (which you hopefully won't have heard all of before)...
Don't edit anything when you first think of it. Some of my most risky/ downright weird stuff came out of what I started out doing before I got a bit jaded and started going "That'd never work". With practice you should be able to make a joke out of pretty much anything so don't write off an idea until you've played around with it a bit at least.
Always be honest with the audience. If it's going badly, don't carry on regardless. You need to be willing to go off script every once in a while (obviously this doesn't matter a jot if you already improvise a large amount anyway) and acknowledge it's not going quite as planned. You also need to know when to stop wallowing in self-pity however.
Don't be afraid to milk a joke- add an afterthought, gurn, look bewildered, whatever works for you when you get the laugh. You can sometimes create great toppers to punchlines quite unexpectedly this way.
Never talk over the peak of the laughter. The audience starts to expect this and kind of shys away from laughing.
Be current. You don't have to write jokes about current events, but note things that other comedians, the compere or members of the audience have said or done prior to you and consider how you can refer back to them in your act. I once followed a guy who, midway through his laughless set, turned to look at the compere and rather despairingly said "Is my 5 minutes up yet?". I came on after, said "Hello" and got no response. Seeing the opportunity, I repeated the previous guy's ill-fated comment just 10 seconds into my act and got a great laugh from it. I can't stress this enough- the audience just loves it when you've clearly riffed there and then.
There's loads more actually, but the internet cafe is tossing me out now. Sorry- will try and post again in the next day or so.  |
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Mr Savoir Faire
"^ Click my name. "
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Posted - 06/18/2007 : 01:41:10
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The original file is nearly a gigabyte, but the sound quality suffered when i reduced it to 4.9 mb to fit it on youtube.
Transcript-
Coming to the stage right now,I want ya'll to give it up for this brother. I never seen him before but I respect his gangsta; Give it up for Eric Yesbick.
Sup? (I only said this to delay a second because the cord was wrapped around the mic stand)
My name's (name), I'm a comedian from South Georgia, y'all know, where the wildfires are. Apparently a cross-burning got out of control.
Boy I'm a sight aren't I? I got feet bigger than Michael Jordan but I got the small tender hands of Goldilox: Ladies, see me after the show if you wanna know which rumor's true!
Our culture puts too much emphasis on tall, dark, and handsome. What about thos e of us that are short, blond, and effeminate?
But what I hate most about my appearance is how pale I am. I'm white I ate yellow 5, I turned Japanese. I went to a seance, they thought I was the ghost. If you close your eyes you can still see me.
I got a new girlfriend this week. She loves to talk dirty when she has sex and it is awesome. The only thing is; it keeps using up my minutes.
I hate how condoms expire. You know, you gotta buy them by the box, but not all of us get laid three times in 8 years.
Who hear likes rap music? (*Cheers*) I love rap music...and i'm always trying to dfend it cuz there's a lot of haters out there.
A lot of people complain that rap is homophobic, but if you look at it gangstas and gay people got a lot in common. Now hear me out on this:
-You always see them at the clubs because they both love to sing and dance.
-They each have their own fashion lines. You know, they own them: Calvin Klein, Sean Jean.
-And they both hate women.
-Not to mention, they both like rims.
Thank you.
I read about this group: they call themselves the "Gay Republicans". They don't even like bush!
...but they vote Republican because they love dick.
My college grades came in this week...but don't worry. I had a great excuse for my Mom and Dad: I said, "You know, we lost Anna Nicole this semester."
I was feeling sorry for her child Dannielynn; Everyone coming up to her and saying "Who's your Daddy?"
But, eh, I'm glad she found out who her father was, because she would have been broke after she bought all those cards for Father's Day.
True story: Even OJ Simpson was claiming to be the father of that child. I don't know about you, but if I was a white girl named "Nicole", I'd stay away from him!
Women are always calling men liars, but then they got make-up,
-they got bras,
and they have cosmetic surgery.
Some women are so platic you might as well be with a blow-up doll.
And a blow up doll wouldn't be as fulll of hot-air.
You ever get the feeling that everyone hates you? I went to the doctor today. He said, "Take two, call me in the morning." He gave me cyanide pills.
I remember reading in History about a guy named Ponce de Leon looking for the fountain of youth in Florida. He should have been looking for it in Sudan. I saw Sudan on the news, millions of people in that country, not one of them's over thirty. (Admittingly, this joke did not work well. I messed up the wording slightly and had to improvise the ending. It should be "cuz I heard the average age there is like 18")
Alright that's my time. Thank you. Goodnight.
(End transcript)
Possible cultural notes:
- South Georgia is known throughout the US as a stereotypically redneck place. The KKK is an organization that is seen as the epitome of hickdom and often burns crosses on people's lawns as a hate crime (particularly against African Americans).
-The 'big feet'/'small hands' is a reference to a couple of rumors:
1)big hands means big dick
2)big feet mean big dick
-"Who's your Daddy?" is a reference to a common, creepy saying which is sexual. I'm not entirely sure on the origin/meaning, but it is never used in the context that I used it.
-"using up my minutes" For some phones to work, you must pre-purchase amounts of time to use (minutes). These phones are cheap, poor, and generally unreliable.
On this particular night I was the only comic not to get booed-off stage(other than the headliner). Not my best performance, but the only one I have managed to record. I've since cut my hair a lot shorter and some of the jokes I've improved. Also, in my delivery I generally stand still now. Usually I have links between jokes, but this set was hastily made.
Thanks for the comments so far.
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Whippersnapper.
"A fourword thinking guy."
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Posted - 06/18/2007 : 01:55:28
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Thanks for the transcript.
I thought the "using up my minutes" line was a reference to prostitution, and so will your audience. That way its funnier too.
For the blow up doll bit, try something like "real girls always let me down. Now I get to let her down instead".
Oh, and let me have your address for my invoice.
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thefoxboy
"Four your eyes only."
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Posted - 06/18/2007 : 02:09:21
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I got the 'using up minutes' one. I have used that joke myself in the past.
Good stuff Mr. S, takes a lot of guts to get up on stage and do that.  |
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randall
"I like to watch."
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Posted - 06/18/2007 : 02:15:22
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Nice stuff, Stupid. Pretty funny! Keep at it until you just hate it.
Signed,
Randall |
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Cheese_Ed 
"The Provolone Ranger"
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Posted - 06/18/2007 : 03:10:33
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| Great job, man. I've got to give that a shot. |
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duh
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 06/18/2007 : 05:29:37
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'duh' talks to 'Stupid'...cool.
Thanks for the transcript, Stupid. I understood enough of the video to get some good laughs, but the transcript filled in the gaps.
You're cute! Great smile!
--duh (aka ImproperUsername) |
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Sean 
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 06/18/2007 : 06:19:16
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Nice work, Mr S. It takes real balls to do that kind of thing.
I liked most of your jokes. But, I found myself pausing on some of them to consider their meaning. It's possible that some of them are too clever for some audiences and might benefit from some dumbing down? The fact you felt the need to explain some of them after the transcript suggests that perhaps you agree with this.
Aim them at thefoxboy's level or something. 
Keep it up. |
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thefoxboy
"Four your eyes only."
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Posted - 06/18/2007 : 06:30:33
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quote:
Originally posted by Se�n
Nice work, Mr S. It takes real balls to do that kind of thing.
I liked most of your jokes. But, I found myself pausing on some of them to consider their meaning. It's possible that some of them are too clever for some audiences and might benefit from some dumbing down? The fact you felt the need to explain some of them after the transcript suggests that perhaps you agree with this.
Aim them at thefoxboy's level or something.
Keep it up.
You are a joke.
They should bag you up and sell you in garden centresthrow you in the river.  |
Edited by - thefoxboy on 06/18/2007 06:31:45 |
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Stand-up comedy
