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duh 
"catpurrs"
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 Posted - 09/20/2007 : 17:31:32
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(Whole tale redacted for brevity.)
My mom, who is 78, was getting loonier and loonier. She was pissed off at the world. Dad said she began screaming at him in the morning and screamed at him all day long and he was just worn out.
She was angry at me. She accused us of plotting to have her killed. (Dad may have been tempted, LOL!)
Her memory was fine, so we decided it couldn't be alzheimers.
Finally, I decided it was time to attempt to intervene. (Mom has always been somewhat terrifying, so to approach her about this was not done lightly.)
I told her that she and I were going to have a "business meeting." I told her that anytime she asked me to leave, I would get up and go. I told her that if she cried, I would leave. I think perhaps she knew that things weren't as they should and she had enough sense left to want help.
So I explained to her that much of what she thought had been happening was not real. I explained that it wasn't her fault but may have been due to head injuries from when she had fallen. I think that helped a great deal in getting her cooperation.
I made an appt for her with her doctor and attended it with her. The doctor prescribed Risperdal. He said that it could take a few days to begin helping her. He told me that he could see that she wasn't herself.
Mom called me this morning and WOW the difference is amazing. Her mind is clear and she is contented and at peace with the world. She said she slept well.
She is having some side effects, dizziness, etc. so I have contacted her doctor about that and we will see if a different antipsychotic would be better.
BUT, what I really think is that Mom needed antipsychotic drugs HER WHOLE LIFE. Seeing the difference in her just 24 hours later, it seems obvious to me that she has been bipolar or something, her whole life. The times that she made life hell when I was a kid (it wasn't constantly bad, just bad about 50% of the time) was because she was mentally ill.
Wow. Wow. Wow. |
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turrell 
"Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh "
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Posted - 09/20/2007 : 17:48:56
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What a moving story - thanks for sharing - I had a grand father who did have alzheimers and he kept calling the police and telling them that some old lady (my grandmother) had killed his pretty young wife (who was now his elegant old wife) and was chasing him around with a butcher's knife. The hardest thing for my dad and his sisters to do was to put him in a home. Though yours is a different thing altogether - it is admirable that you stepped up as you did and I am so glad that your mother seems to be getting helped by it - too bad not when you were a kid, but knowing you from these fourums, it is obvious you did okay despite being mothered by a woman in need of the right medication. Well done and I hope your mom continues to benefit from treatment.
When can we expect the duh autobiographical movie? |
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 09/21/2007 : 02:07:37
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Wow! This reminds me of a documentary I saw a while ago on kids with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactiviy disorder). One solo-mother with an ADHD kid (aged about 10) eventually was persuaded to put her kid on ritalin (or something similar), which alleviated the problem. Pre-treatment the kid's behaviour was impossible, he'd have driven anyone to suicide.  But while she was reading about the standard symptoms of ADHD she realised that a lot of the symptoms also applied to herself. So, she started a trial of the ritalin and woke up the next day and thought "Wow! So this is what other people feel like all the time!" She said that a cloud had lifted for the first time in her life, and she realised what it meant to feel 'normal'. So at the age of 35-40 she realised that she had been ADHD all her life and found life far more enjoyable if she treated it with the appropriate drugs. Obviously she'd have been happier if it had been diagnosed 30 years earlier, but better late than never. 
I'd guess that there are a lot of people with undiagnosed brain-chemical imbalances who'd find life a lot more enjoyable (as would the people around them) if they accepted that they have a problem and sought treatment. One of the hardest parts can be persuading those who need treatment that there is actually something wrong with them, as they commonly externalise their internal problems (i.e., they think that their problems are caused by other people or external factors).
The other issue is the attitude of others to those who have mental problems. It's easy to understand that when someone has a broken bone or an infected wound that they need treatment, but when a chemical imbalance manifests itself as a personality problem it's a lot harder to understand that the sufferer can't do much about it without help. E.g., depressives should "snap out of it", psychotics should "get a grip", schizophrenics should "sort themselves out", ADHDs should "settle down" etc. And of course if you ask Tom Cruise then he'll tell them to have their alien spirits exorcised. 
Anyway, I'm glad to hear that there seems to be a happy ending, duh, and hopefully the drugs are the solution. |
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ChocolateLady 
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 09/21/2007 : 08:05:09
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The hardest part is knowing that years of suffering might have been prevented if someone had just taken the time to sit her down with someone who could figure this out for her. Now that she's on her way, may I suggest that you talk this out with someone professional as well. I'm not suggesting that you have an illness, but coping with hers all these years must have had some effect on you. My grandmother was severly bi-polar but she only started getting treated for it when she was in her 50s. This had an effect on my mother, who had bouts of depression as a direct result of her growing up with a bi-polar mother (of course my abusive father didn't help matters). My mother's smartest move was checking herself into a mental hospital when I was about 6. She was checked carefully, informed that she wasn't bi-polar and given some help with her depressions.
Take care of yourself now - it is very important that you do so.
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 09/21/2007 : 13:10:05
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
The hardest part is knowing that years of suffering might have been prevented if someone had just taken the time to sit her down with someone who could figure this out for her.
This can be next to impossible if the 'patient' has a strong adverse reaction to any suggestion that there's something wrong with them though (I have no idea whether this would have been the case here, of course). On top of that, I'd guess that friends and family would have to be generally in agreement that there is something wrong that is treatable.quote:
Now that she's on her way, may I suggest that you talk this out with someone professional as well. I'm not suggesting that you have an illness, but coping with hers all these years must have had some effect on you.
I suspect it instilled patience and tolerance. Exposure to someone with mental illness isn't necessarily a bad thing. |
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duh
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 09/22/2007 : 03:55:09
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
I'm not suggesting that you have an illness, but coping with hers all these years must have had some effect on you.
quote:
Originally posted by Se�n
I suspect it instilled patience and tolerance. Exposure to someone with mental illness isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I tried extremely hard to be 'good' so as not to upset her. I used to wonder how she could be so loving one moment and so angry and spiteful the next. Which was the real Mom? It makes me feel peaceful now to know that she wasn't deliberately mean, that it was caused by screwed up brain biochemistry. The pieces of the puzzle are in place at last. |
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Cheese_Ed 
"The Provolone Ranger"
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Posted - 09/22/2007 : 06:08:59
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But Tom Cruise told me that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance and that psychiatry is a form of pseudoscience??
Don't tell me we're going to contradict "Maverick"!
Where's my E-meter! |
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w22dheartlivie
"Kitty Lover"
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Posted - 09/23/2007 : 07:47:13
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I worked for over 10 years in residential settings for individuals that are dually diagnosed with either developmental disabilities or acquired brain injuries/damage in addition to mental illnesses. I've worked with a lot of individuals being treated with various psychoactive medications that include antipsychotics so I'm fairly well versed in them, both academically as well as experientially.
Risperdal is a great medication that's been effective in treating psychotic symptoms associated with bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia and in some rage behaviors resulting from autism. It works well when accompanied by mood stabilizing drugs such as Tegretol and Lithium without compounding side effects too severely.
Actually, Risperdal has a lot lower side effect profile than some of the more "time honored" tried and true antipsychotics like Thorazine, Haldol, Stelazine, Navane, Mellaril. Risperdal is one of the newer classes of antipsychotics that include Zyprexa and Clozaril. Most common side effects include insomnia, somnolence (yeah, I know, paradoxical effects), appetite changes, extrapyramidal effects (associated with effects on the autonomic nervous system - such as dystonia, akathisia, ataxia and also with the sympathetic nervous system - anxiety, nervousness), headaches and dizziness.
You didn't say how long your mom's been on the Risperdal or what the dosage is. A lot of side effects will fade or disappear entirely as the person becomes accustomed to it. My only good advice is to be sure she's been on the regime long enough to allow the side effects to lessen before considering changing, especially if you've found the right one to address her symptoms. Finding the right antipsychotic to match the individual patient can be taxing and difficult, so if you've found one that works well, try sticking with it as long as possible before changing to another that may not work as well in the long run, but offer lesser side effects in the short.
I'm glad to hear you've seen some progress, both for your mom, your dad and you. Hang in there!!! |
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BaftaBaby 
"Always entranced by cinema."
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Posted - 09/23/2007 : 09:00:14
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I have no advice ... only big hugs.
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 09/23/2007 : 12:32:25
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| A friend of mine was put on olanzapine (an anti-psychotic) and it caused him to stammer, and generally affected his lower jaw when talking. Fortunately he didn't need the drugs at all (long story, don't ask ) so was only on it for a couple of weeks. |
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duh
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 09/23/2007 : 15:37:41
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quote:
Originally posted by wildhartlivie
Finding the right antipsychotic to match the individual patient can be taxing and difficult, so if you've found one that works well, try sticking with it as long as possible before changing to another that may not work as well in the long run, but offer lesser side effects in the short.
Thank you so much for this information!
Thanks to everyone for your support. Mom is doing great and Dad is doing well because of that, LOL! |
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w22dheartlivie
"Kitty Lover"
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Posted - 09/23/2007 : 21:32:42
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Anything I can offer, feel free to ask, just drop me a pm! The one thing I would notice with people who are on medication is that when they start to feel better, they begin to think they're cured and want to stop the medication. Don't let that happen!
Sean - that is the extrapyramidal side effects at work - dystonic effects can occur in any muscle groups, though it's really a lot more common in the large muscle groups (legs, neck etc.). |
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duh
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 10/03/2007 : 01:59:23
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quote:
Originally posted by wildhartlivie
Anything I can offer, feel free to ask, just drop me a pm! The one thing I would notice with people who are on medication is that when they start to feel better, they begin to think they're cured and want to stop the medication. Don't let that happen!
It happened. 
Mom was having some side effects from the risperdal: ringing in her ears, hot flashes, and faster heart rate. I suggested that she take just half a tablet to see if the side effects would dimenish, and that is what her doctor advised also. Her doctor said that because the risperdal was so dramatically effective in treating her mental illness that he wanted her to give her body time to adjust to it.
But, nope, the bitch went cold-turkey and now she's meaner than a rabid skunk.
I don't know how Dad can stand her. She berates him constantly and is clearly just miserable. When I visited, she proceeded to figuratively pull my guts out through my throat with her fist.
It makes me feel like, well yeah, Mom may be mentally ill, but isn't it possible that the mental illness simply lays bare her true nature? Whenever she has been like this, all through my lifetime, it makes me wish she would just have a fatal stroke on the spot.
Dad said he will try to persuade her to take half a tablet of her medication.
My brother and I exchanged phone calls about it; he said that this has gone on far too long and if she isn't going to comply with taking her medication, then she belongs in an institution.
Anyhow, it sure highlights the chemistry of personality and temperament. |
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 10/03/2007 : 03:01:39
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quote:
Originally posted by Alan Smithee (duh)
But, nope, the bitch went cold-turkey and now she's meaner than a rabid skunk.
quote:
It makes me feel like, well yeah, Mom may be mentally ill, but isn't it possible that the mental illness simply lays bare her true nature?
I think the mental illness is her true nature. That is, in her natural drug-free state her brain chemistry is 'unbalanced'. And if drugs balance it then she's a much nicer person. So she has a pleasant chemically-balanced nature and an unpleasant chemically-unbalanced nature. I think most people's personalities change somewhat dependent on a variety of factors, e.g., whether they've had enough sleep or not, so I'm not sure that "true nature" has much meaning.quote:
Anyhow, it sure highlights the chemistry of personality and temperament.
Yep.
I think one of the problems with some mental illnesses is that the sufferers have great difficulty understanding the disparity between their own mental states. I mean that she probably has no idea how much her personality changed when she stopped the drugs.
Perhaps she needs a threat? Tell her how pleasant she was with the drugs, and how unpleasant she is without them? And suggest that people are considering attempts to institutionalise her? Or something?
Fingers crossed you can sort it out. |
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 10/03/2007 : 11:29:57
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While Sean has the right idea regarding the illness, I'm afraid that reasoning with her sounds like it might be a bit of a futile effort. And from my experience with mentally ill persons, threats can backfire, disasterously. Would that your brother was wrong in this instance duh, but it sounds to me like he's right - if she won't take her meds, then she needs to be hospitalized. If she won't go willingly, then she'll have to be taken forcibly.
As for your feelings about her having a massive stroke - do try not to go down that road. She is sick. Very, very sick. And no matter how horrid she treats you and her family, she really isn't at fault here - the illness is. While you may hate her now, for what she's doing and has done in the past, believe me when I tell you that if she had been treated for her illness properly in the past, she would never have done those things. It is obvious to me that since you and your brother and father are all still alive, that something deep inside of her loves you all - always has, and always will. Despite how bad it looks, she's never known how to treat you right, and has only done the best she could. Wishing her dead isn't going to assuage your feelings for her. And think also that if you didn't love her, you wouldn't be writing these posts here. You'd let the whole thing pass without caring. But that's not the case, and you know it. You need to accept that she's ill and try to get past all the bad memories and nasty behaviour to the woman inside who still loves you and you still love. If that means forcibly hospitalizing her, then that's what it means. And it sounds like your father needs you to do this as well, since he obviously still loves her too.
By the way, sometimes it helps if you continuously tell her that what you want her to do and what you are doing is only because you love her. If you preface each request or statement with "I love you" often enough, it might get through. She's in there somewhere, trust me on this.
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Whippersnapper. 
"A fourword thinking guy."
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Posted - 10/03/2007 : 13:33:24
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It could be that an authority figure like a nurse or doctor could persuade her to take her tablet - any chance she could be driven to a health centre to be medicated or a nurse could visit? If this works its a lot easier than having her institutionalized, just for the sake of not taking a tablet.
I had a friend whose wife suffered from mental illness and was frequently locked up for periods in the local mental hospital. Naturally, one couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
However, when she was back on her medication and back at home, well, she was one of the most thoroughly unpleasant people I've ever met. 
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How was your day? (again)
